Saturday, May 21, 2005

Another Saturday morning and I ain't got no-bo-dy

Ok, the kids are killing each other in the living room, supposedly watching a movie but how they can watch anything and beat the living daylights out of each other I can't begin to guess. Hubby is sleeping, his favorite thing to do. It's the only day besides monday he really gets to sleep in so I don't begrudge it. Me, I can't sleep in usually on Saturday, having gotten up by 6:30 every other day, I just don't adjust so quickly. That and I usually get enough sleep during the week so I am not starved by the weekend.

My son tried the medication the Dr ordered for ADHD, but it really upset his stomach, and made him feel really cranky; he begged me to stop it. I don't mind, it didn't seem to make a big difference with him, not like it did with his sister. He is still an over reactive, motor mouth, with a very sweet disposition, but who really needs to learn to relax. Maybe I should just get him into sports, then he'd have no energy left to drive us all nuts. Oh, that and the piroutettes he dances down the grocery aisles, that needs to stop. Taking him shopping is always a gamble, is he going to take out some old lady with a walker before or after he sends some display crashing to the floor? And asking him to stop and stand still does no good, he stands there, looking like two cats fighting in a bag full of jello and says, with complete sincerity "I am standing stil!l". Yeah, right.

Daughter on the other hand is doing better. I had a talk to her counselor about my difficulty with the schools helping, she said they told her (just as I told her several times in the previous 3 months) that they couldn't do anything for her in terms of a special plan because she isn't learning disabled. I have said this to her from the beginning, this is my problem. I wonder if she heard me at all, because when she relayed this incredible insight into the minds of the school she said it as if it was the first time she had ever heard this revelation. Why do I bother to talk at all, perhaps I should just nod and smile. Anyway, I explained to her that I really didn't want an IEP, I just wanted them to give her some flexibility in her assignments, as deadlines are a real hurdle right now. She is getting the work done, that is a huge improvement over the past 5 years. We used to fight just to do the work. But because she was not turning it in on time, she was still failing, even though she was doing everything else they asked. I could see her beginning to get discouraged, why bother when you aren't going to get any credit for it anyway? I can understand that. So all I asked was if her teacher would give her some flexible deadlines, and gradually bring those down to his usual standard. He agreed, and voila, she began getting passing grades.

Daughter stepped up to the plate and got her three gold slip, albeit at the LAST flippin minute (outdoor school is on MONDAY!) and can attend outdoor school. I really had not counted on her going, and had payed little/no attention to the stuff she was bringing home, had to shoot off an email to her teacher who responded in time and let me know she had gotten her third gold slip and so could go, and when and where she would need to be. There was much rejoicing in the household.

I'm still waitng to hear back from the Dr about son and his meds, whether to try another or just wait and watch. We'll see.
Take care all, have a great week!

Forgot to mention, to give the school credit, they even helped out with the tuition for outdoor school, which I thought was mighty kind, and we needed. I think they think we are destitute, everytime my daughter comes home with a story about how the counselor said they could help with this or that or some other thing, I wonder, what is she telling them? I have a daughter who needs new shoes every time hers get scuffed and I tell her, truthfully, we don't have the money to buy you new shoes (every time you want them). Over in Vancouver, she came home from school with a new coat, and said the counselor had given it to her because she told her that her mom wouldn't/couldn't buy her a new one. I won't, I get her coats from Goodwill, mostly because I refuse to pay 50-100 dollars for a coat just to have her lose it in a month. Then there was the eye exam, she told them mom couldn't get her eyes checked because we didn't have the money. What really happened was I made an appointment, missed it, and just hadn't gotten around to rescheduling it, I think she just assumed it was because of money and told them that. So I get a call saying she needs an eye exam and the school can help her if we need it. This is the same kid who told grandma we were going to have to move out of our last rental house because the landlord was making us move (I know this because I got a call from grandma asking why we were having to move). I have no idea where that one came from, she hears bits and pieces of a conversation and strings them into a complete fabrication. Assured the she is the keeper of all truth, proceeds to tell everyone, with complete confidence, her story. I think the kid has a future as a novelist, or a reporter.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I'm not being reactionary.....

Ok, so maybe I am, but puleeze!

My husband thinks I am a cynic because I check stuff out on Snopes.

I like Snopes, it's like "mythbusters" online. I think people are WAY too eager to just swallow everything they read, just because it's in print or someone told them. Everytime I get some ominous email warning me of the dangers of drinking out of the milk jug or cat juggling or eating pop rocks with coke, I just have a need to check it out.

I mentioned this on my hubby's blog, in the comments. I am the youngest of three, with an older brother and sister. I had every trick in the book pulled on me and I was a prime target because they could make me cry. I was also the good student and well behaved one so I was just asking for it on so many levels.

Perhaps it came as somewhat of a surprise to me that people would actually try to fool me intentionally, duplicity is not in my nature. I lie terribly, and with only great effort. I just don't like to do it at all. I might be nice and not say how I really feel but I won't out and out lie. I know everytime it happened (when someone would fool me) I felt and still feel gut wrenched. It hurts. Perhaps worse than most anything else because it feels like such a betrayal. Even about minor things, it really is the principal of the matter.

Anyway, I think some of my cynicism comes about as a result of being somewhat self protective. I don't personally think of it as cynicism, checking out a story. It's not like I am pulling a criminal record check on family and friends. It's not even that I think people are trying to pass on bad information intentionally. I just think that too many people give little thought to stuff before they pass it along. It's like "oh, that's so cute or so sweet or whatever" and they hop on someone's band wagon and there you go. I don't want to pass along something that is in error, it matters to me. Just because something sounds good or looks good, doesn't mean it is good.

Funny enough, he (hubby) also admits that the glaring exception is that I accept the bible as true. I don't think that is out of line, I believe God is trustworthy and that his character is impeccable. I believe he is the source of the content and therefore I have no reason not to believe. I have never seen a good refutation of the bible that doesn't lean heavily on assumptions that are just a biased as the ones I probably carry. They just assume different things.

So, no, I don't think there is anything wrong with checking out a story, especially in this world of insta-story, the speed with which things go around as a result of technology. There is so much out there and people question so little.

There is even (yes, you know it had to come) a spiritual implication in being gullible. We are cautioned to be "like the Bereans", who were ready to listen but searched the scriptures daily to see if these thing be true. Our enemy is skilled at making bad things look quite appealing. If we just accept things with no question we will be fooled. God doesn't try to hide things. Yes he asks us to accept some things on faith, but also promises us when we do we will be blessed. You'll know when you got it right because you will see your life change.

It's ok to check things out, be a scholar, use your head as well as your heart. We are told to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. We look with our eyes, think with our brains, feel with our hearts. I guess the challenge is examining things without losing the heart part. In the realm of God, that's good, in the realm of internet fodder, I don't think that the heart part is nearly as big an issue. That's my several more than two cents worth.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I'm not dead

Really, I'm not. I realized it's been almost two weeks since I last wrote, I dunno, just got busy. I guess that's a good thing, sometimes it feels like the only time I write is when I am sitting around, morose, with nothing to do but gripe. I am not morose, I am doing quite well.

I have made myself a promise that I will try to never erase what I have written. If I don't want to say it I wont, but I won't censor myself that way. I am generally a cheerful person but introspective, and I think about things. When I write, I tend to write about what I am thinking about, sometimes that's good and sometimes it's bad. It is what it is.

One thing I guess I have learned is that a sad day does not mean a sad life. Neither does a sad week. My feelings are what they are and I do not think analyzing them to death is helpful, nor is ignoring them and hoping they will go away. If I am mad, I will be mad until I don't need to be, the same goes for sad and even happy. I can't stand constantly cheerful people, they make me want to look for the switch in the back of their neck that I am sure is there, just so I can flick it off.

I really appreciate people who are real. I have a good friend at church who is one of those people who simply wears on the outside whatever she is feeling on the inside and although that can mean sometimes she is cranky and crabby, there is no guessing what is going on. She will never blindside me with a shot from left field and I love her for it. Enigmatic people are ok as long they don't get on a high horse about being enigmatic, "oh, right I forgot you are soooo mysterious. ooooh", like we are all just supposed to bow to their superior enigma-cy, or whatever.

Anyway, I try to be real, to be whoever and whatever I am at that time. I hope that no one has to guess what I am thinking or feeling, and that they know they are always welcome to ask, I may not have an answer but I wil try!

Be good to yourself !