Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Ruminate on this

I really do feel better. It's funny, I know that I am loved, that everything is in God's hands and I am not alone. It's such a mind game, worry is imagining that those things aren't true and then acting like they aren't true. If you do it long enough you begin to believe they aren't true. Then nothing makes sense. I had a good meeting with a prayer group at the church I go to, and it really helped me. It's not like they did anything scary or weird, like my husband would say, they didn't swing a dead chicken over their heads and chant, we just prayed and asked God to speak and he did. It just helped me to hear other people say, this is what I hear God say and to know that that is what I hear. I just needed to hear that he loves me. I wasn't trusting my own ability to hear. It's good to know that I can trust that. They made a good point, that feeling like I did could give me a much greater empathy for people who feel like that all the time, it's hard to understand lonliness and despair if you have not felt despair. So thanks God for giving me that. And thanks for loving me.

Phillipians 4:4-8 Rejoice in the Lord, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men, the Lord is near! Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which passes understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Finally bretheren, whatever things are true,
...noble, ...just, ...pure, ...of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy...meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

My homework, my prescription if you will: I am supposed to learn how to laugh, even if I don't feel like it, so I am trying. Everytime I laugh I cry. I don't know why, it's not that I feel sad, tears just come to my eyes.

Daughter is going to the beach with a friend for the remainder of the week, son is home and enjoying the peace. We are going to go get some fruit to put up today, and maybe fish, if there is time (isn't there always time to fish?). My husband's niece is getting married this weekend, the other niece is getting married in September. The one getting hitched this weekend is a lawyer now. A nice one. I saw baby pics of these girls, they were both gawky kids that are absolutely lovely and graceful young ladies. I pray that both will be blessed.

3 Comments:

Blogger LAMommyof3 said...

I, too, struggle with worry and anxiety sometimes. In times like those it is hard to see God working, but I know He is there. Hang in there...

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger Garhard [GH] said...

Do not ever think that your worry comes from overthinking. You can never overthink. Always challenge your beliefs, your thoughts, and your ideas. In the end it will either make them stronger or you will find the truth.

At times I feel like no one in the world thinks about the things that I do. But there are still thinkers out there.

If you have never read Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" I highly recommend it.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger madmom said...

Thanks Kara, I will do my best. LA mommy of 3, it can be, but I guess that's how he builds our faith. You hang in there too, it gets better. Ouch, I don't have to like it. Garhard, thank you for your comments. I had an episode of acute anxiety, not just the usual day to day worries. The problem with that type of situation is that you can't shut your mind off. I am better now. I can vouch for the fact that it is possible to think too much. There is a lot to be said for inner peace, and a racing mind is not peaceful. Nevertheless, it is important to examine what we see and hear. I am a bit of a skeptic, and I always check the facts, sometimes to the annoyance of others!

Wednesday, June 29, 2005 4:48:00 PM  

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