ready or not
Whew, things have been tough. Not to ignore the considerable attempts of the many people around me who have been wonderful and caring and loving. Still things have been tough. I feel almost guilty that I feel that way, because things could be so much worse, but it must be all about perspective. I am not a terribly anxious person, acute anxiety is very disturbing when you don't spend a lot of time worrying. Mostly things are better, but it's just so easy to begin worrying all over again each time something sets it off. I wonder how people who deal with this day after day do it. I long for the peace that I had before, but I am grateful that in many ways it is so much better.
We had a really good weekend. Each year the local ham radio folks get together for whats called field day. It is a practice emergency communication exercise and a chance to play around with radios and big antennas. I don't usually go but for the day, however we have a trailer now and I have no excuse. The event takes place up on Larch Mountain, for those who aren't from around here, a 4000+ft peak overlooking the Columbia River Gorge. This is a beautiful place and fairly remote, ie 14 miles up a windy road (at least it's paved) that is closed for about 5 months out of the year due to snow. From the parking lot of the visitors area is a steep stepped path that goes for 1/4-1/2 miile straight up to an overlook that sits atop the actual peak of Larch Mt, and gives the hardy hiker a 360 degree view of all the surrounding mountain, the river and everything in between. It's beautiful and breathtaking (not just due to the climb). My son and I walked up there together, ok, he ran ahead and waited for me at the top but I MADE IT. We enjoyed the view, watched birds float below us, butterflies flutter by, and my son wondered that there were plants so high up, and that there was nothing above us but the sky. We looked at the curvature of the earth and atmosphere that you can see from a high elevation and wished that there were just a few less clouds masking the peaks around. Then I stumbled back to camp and rested. I love that climb, it's high enough to be remote but not a killer for even an old lady like me. Later that night the kids got to talk on the radios, contacting people from Texas, CA, FL, Tennessee and lots of other places. Both think they would like to get their license next year so they can be real operators and not just guests. I think that would be nice, it's not a bad skill to have and the hams are a good bunch mostly.
I feel tired and a bit weary, I would like to get past that, I would like to feel the lightness on the inside, instead I feel heavy and weighed down. Yuck, not my thing.
Take care all and God bless you.
We had a really good weekend. Each year the local ham radio folks get together for whats called field day. It is a practice emergency communication exercise and a chance to play around with radios and big antennas. I don't usually go but for the day, however we have a trailer now and I have no excuse. The event takes place up on Larch Mountain, for those who aren't from around here, a 4000+ft peak overlooking the Columbia River Gorge. This is a beautiful place and fairly remote, ie 14 miles up a windy road (at least it's paved) that is closed for about 5 months out of the year due to snow. From the parking lot of the visitors area is a steep stepped path that goes for 1/4-1/2 miile straight up to an overlook that sits atop the actual peak of Larch Mt, and gives the hardy hiker a 360 degree view of all the surrounding mountain, the river and everything in between. It's beautiful and breathtaking (not just due to the climb). My son and I walked up there together, ok, he ran ahead and waited for me at the top but I MADE IT. We enjoyed the view, watched birds float below us, butterflies flutter by, and my son wondered that there were plants so high up, and that there was nothing above us but the sky. We looked at the curvature of the earth and atmosphere that you can see from a high elevation and wished that there were just a few less clouds masking the peaks around. Then I stumbled back to camp and rested. I love that climb, it's high enough to be remote but not a killer for even an old lady like me. Later that night the kids got to talk on the radios, contacting people from Texas, CA, FL, Tennessee and lots of other places. Both think they would like to get their license next year so they can be real operators and not just guests. I think that would be nice, it's not a bad skill to have and the hams are a good bunch mostly.
I feel tired and a bit weary, I would like to get past that, I would like to feel the lightness on the inside, instead I feel heavy and weighed down. Yuck, not my thing.
Take care all and God bless you.
posted by madmom at 4:54 PM
2 Comments:
I'm happy to see your post and glad to know things are going well.
Psalm 91:11
Thank you so much Sharon, I keep psalm 91 (he will give his angels charge over you to guard you in all your ways, on their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone) close to my heart always, it has helped me though some other tough times as well, and I am always stubbing my toes on something, just ask my husband, so I need all the help I can get! Angels or steel toed boots.
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