Sunday, September 25, 2005

How's school going?

I like this large font, I hope it doesn't look like I am shouting, I think it's easier to read.
Anyhoo, I am hard at work with daughter's teachers, all 6 of them, staying in contact, helping them to understand her difficulties. For a lot of them it's is the usual- if she would just ..., and you have to explain to them she can't do ...whatever that is. I would like it if she would get to class on time, have her planner (their answer to everything), her text book and the assignment she worked on last night for several hours ready to turn in when she arrives in class.

The reality is this,

She is late because she (pick one)
1) Couldn't get her locker open
2)Had to run back to her last class to get something she forgot
3)Got lost
4)was looking for the right book and realized after the bell she left it at home
5)I could go on

once she gets to class, she doesn't have her planner because she (pick one)
1)
Couldn't get her locker open
2)Forgot it in her last class
3)left it in her back pack
4)left it at home
5) grabbed the wrong book
6) Etc.

Then they ask her to take out her text book which doesn't have because (pick one)
1)Couldn't get her locker open
2)Forgot it in her last class
3)left it in her back pack
4)left it at home
5) grabbed the wrong book
6) See the pattern here?

And last but not least, they collect the assignment that she worked several hours on last night and she doesn't have it because she (pick one)
1)Couldn't get her locker open
2)Forgot it in her last class
3)left it in her back pack
4)left it at home
5) Put it in the wrong folder/notebook

And she does this at least 5-7 times a day, every day. I get tired just thinking about it. And they say ADD isn't a disability. I would ask any one of them to spend 1 month like that and see if they have a job at the end of the month.

Set up a reward/accountability program, is one suggestion. It's a good one and probably would work for most kids. The problem is, it doesn't for her. Rewarding good behavior implies that they can change their behavior. To some extent she can but much of it is not something she can. It's like asking a blind kid to stop running into things. If they could they would. So you give them tools to make that easier. She needs brief, single step instructions and assignments, minimal clutter, short deadlines (no 2 month down the road stuff, this is a kid who can't remember what she had for breakfast), written and verbal instructions, minimal distractions, positive feedback for the simplest smallest achievement,a nd little negative feedback for incorrect work/behavior. I could go on.

Basically it goes against the grain of every teacher's best instinct, ignore negative behavior, reward partial success, forgive lateness and partial work, grade how they did on what they did not how well they met your expectations.

I have been grateful for email as it makes the conversation easier for all concerned. They will be spending the next several weeks evaluating her and seeing how she does with behavioral and environmental modifications. If that works, great, she'll have a 504 plan to address the modifications she needs to function. If that doesn't work they will have her evaluated for a learning disability and IEP. I don't know, if the the 504 works I will be happy, but the IEP gives her more protection against being forced to comply with expectations that might not be fair to her, or that might be unattainable. I don't know if her problems amount to a disability, but it sure seems disabling to me. Time will tell.
God bless all, keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

6 Comments:

Blogger Patty-Jo said...

You are such a wonderful advocate for your daughter! God bless you for that! It's so difficult when teachers etc. just assume it's bad parenting, or bad children. Bottom line is, your daughter wants more than anything to be good, to fit in, to do well at school, and if she was able to she would. Period. I don't know what a 504 is, but my son has an IEP, and it's been very helpful. Hang in there. One warning; sometimes in order to get an IEP, your child has to fail miserably. This is so damaging to their self esteem, it can sometimes take years for them to recover if they ever do. Be careful. Nobody knows your little girl as well as you do, and nobody loves her as much. My prayers are with you.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger lawryde said...

Why don't you give her drugs to adjust her brain chemestry?

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger madmom said...

She is on medications, but they don't solve every problem. Part of what happens with ADD is that kids don't learn certain skills that other kids learn, and they are behind their peers in those skills. They have to go back and learn stuff that others take for granted. The meds help her to concentrate, that's about it. She still has 12 years of catching up to do.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 12:58:00 PM  
Blogger madmom said...

Thank you Patty Jo, I am really trying this year. Last year I just whined about it, I am working really hard to establish a good working relationship with the teachers and help them understand her needs instead of waiting for them to call me. The 504 is the other side of the IEP, the Feds require a school to make modifications to accomodate a child with physical/mental or emotional limitations, such as providing braille books to a blind kid or wheel chair accessibility to a paraplegic. With ADD kids it might be giving them a text book to keep at home, allowing them to tape class for later reference, giving an oral rather than written test, giving them more time to complete assignments, etc.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 1:07:00 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hi madmom,

I saw that you said you were a nurse in Sharon's comments the other day. I am a nurse, too, so I just had to visit you and say hello.

I am sorry your daughter is having such difficulty. It is great that the lines of communication are open, though.

I hope things get easier soon.

Thursday, September 29, 2005 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger madmom said...

You know Jaybird, I have wondered about the enabling part but what i have seen is this, we didn't know what was wrong for several years, we cut her no slack, assuming she was just not trying, and it didn't help one bit. All we accomplished was tearing her down so that her self esteem is poor and her attitude is "why try?". If it were going to work, it would have, if she really could do what we were asking, she would have. I have come to accept that there are just some things she can't do or can't do successfully, and keep those things in mind when I am asking her to do something.

Saturday, October 01, 2005 2:48:00 PM  

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